Last evening, I attended the wedding dinner of a cousin of my wife. The event was held at the Ritz Carlton in a 12-table Chinese dinner setting in one of the banquet rooms. This cousin, an overseas graduate now in her late 30’s, married a Dutchman who is some ten years older. I am told he is a divorcee.

For one of her tying the knot, there remains many others in their 30’s who are still unmarried here in Singapore. The recent Population Trends 2007 statistics which came out just this week pointed to a three-fold increase in the number of unmarried Singaporean women in the 35-39 age range compared with their peers of the 1970’s. For men in the same age group, the increase is two-fold[1].

Strangely, the statistics also show the increase levelling off in this decade. Does this spell good news in that more such women are heading for the wedding aisle nowadays? This cousin of my wife married out of her race. Are there more like her? I am not saying these women are not choosing our local men. After all, marriage is a personal thing. You see, you like and you want to spend the rest of your lives together so you get hitched. In her case, I hear she studied at an overseas university. So, she has seen more of the world than her peers in local universities and this could be an influence factor.

One thing’s for sure, more Chinese grooms are getting hitched in inter-racial marriages[2]. Whatever the case, it’s a good thing that more Singaporeans of marriageable age are getting married. For the newly-weds, it means they are able to find a companion to live and enjoy life with. For the Government, this means the possibility of more babies to boost Singapore’s population.

So what about me? Am I one of those I have been talking about? I got married at the age of 37 — rather late in life I would say. My wife is 13 years my junior. We are both local Chinese. We have no children. But I consider myself fortunate — some schoolmates are still single today at age 49!

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Notes

1. Population Trends 2007:

Source: www.singstat.gov.sg An Excerpt

Proportion single (resident population) 1970     1980     1990     2000     2006

Aged 35-39 years (%)

Males                                                10.8     10.5      18.1     19.7      19.4

Females                                              5.1       8.5      14.8     15.1      15.5

2. Statistics on Marriages 2003:

Source: www.singstat.gov.sg An Excerpt

“In 2003, about 33 per cent of couples in their first marriage involved partners within one year of each other. This was an increase from 29 per cent in 1993. Couples with large age differentials also increased over the decade. Couples with partners aged 10 years or more apart increased from 6 per cent in 1993 to 8 per cent in 2003.”

“Of the 1,621 non-Muslim inter-ethnic marriages registered in 2003, those contracted between Chinese grooms and brides of ethnic groups other than Indian, Eurasian, Caucasian or Malay form the largest single combination of 33 per cent.” 

On 8 Sep 2007, in an entry entitled “AN OPEN LETTER FROM OTTO FONG” on his blog, an RI teacher went into the open about being gay.

Otto said that “Recent events have made me decide to write this open letter. In April this year, Minister Mentor Mr Lee Kuan Yew – one of the school’s greatest alumni – called homosexuality a ‘genetic variation’, questioning the validity of criminalising gay sex. In July, MP Baey Yam Keng expressed support for the repeal of Section 377A of the penal code (which criminalises gay sex acts). In August, Malaysian columnist and ordained pastor Oyoung Wenfeng released his inspiring new Mandarin book ‘Tong Gen Sheng’, encouraging gay men and women to come out of the closet.”

He also said, “I am not going back in the closet. When you ask me who I am, I will answer: I am a son, a brother, a long-time companion, an uncle, a teacher, a classmate, a colleague, a part of your community, a HDB dweller, a Singaporean. And I am also gay.”

Otto has since removed the article from his blog but a copy of this article is available online at The Online Citizen.

In a dialogue session with 400 Young PAP activists on 21 Apr 2007, Minister Mentor Lee Kuan Yew had said in reply to a question on homosexuality, “If in fact it is true, and I have asked doctors this, that you are genetically born a homosexual — because that’s the nature of the genetic random transmission of genes — you can’t help it. So why should we criminalise it?”

Then, in an interview with local paper Berita Harian, published on 2 Jul 2007, MM Lee was also reported as saying, “We must take cognisance of the contemporary world that has become more accommodating…Homosexuals are mostly born that way, and no public purpose is served by interfering in their lives.”

Here in Singapore, the Establishment has pointed the way ahead. The Civil Service is hearing and so are our sons and daughters who are caught in this bind.

But the move ahead will be slow and, perhaps, torturous. After all, Singapore is a conservative society situated in an even more conservative region.

Some of our sons and daughters are opening up. But will they give up in despair and leave their native land if they find the going tough thereafter?

Only time will tell. But we are all moving in the right direction — the Establishment recognising there is a place in sunny Singapore for everyone, and our sons and daughters doing their part to ensure Singapore stays ahead of the competition.

Perhaps, in time too, other Singaporeans living overseas will see that there is room in Singapore for all our sons and daughters and then decide to come home for good.