Today, Singapore was shaken by the news of the deaths of a family of four in Tampines Street 44. A 40-year-old Chinese man was found dead at the bottom of a block of HDB flats this morning. Police later found the bodies of a 39-year-old Chinese woman, a 12-year-old boy and a 4-year-old girl in a flat on one of the upper floors of the block.

It is not known yet what exactly happened to the family, but a neighbour who was interviewed on television today pointed out that the dead man was a happy-go-lucky sort of chap. Another neighbour said she saw the man screaming as he fell off the window. The television news programme also reported that several handwritten notes, in English, were found in the flat. These hinted at financial problems faced by the family.  

It could be that the father took the lives of his family members before committing suicide. If that is the case, then we have every reason to rebuke the dead man for his selfishness.

Every few years in Singapore, the lives of innocent young children are sacrificed by their parent or parents in the name of protecting these children who would have otherwise grown up in the absence of these parents. Is it a noble act in the part of such parents, causing their young children to die without the chance to grow up, get married, have children, and then grow old?

These children never had a chance to decide for themselves their fate. They died by the hands of their parent or parents. It is sad when children suffer such fates through no fault of theirs. These parents, having sown the seeds for such a situation that demanded they take their own lives, had no justification to sacrifice the God-given rights of their children to a full life the moment they decided to have these children. 

It is a joy to be able to wake up to a brand new day each morning. Alas, the two children will no longer be able to join thousands of young Singaporeans in going to school tomorrow.

It’s already so difficult to have children in Singapore. Those of us still mulling over the idea of having children will find no consolation in hearing today’s grim news. But, let us not allow the selfish acts of a few to mar our efforts at baby-making.

It is times like these that we bystanders get a chance to reflect and say to ourselves: Aren’t we lucky our parents are not like that?

Yes, we are certainly luckier than the two children who died today. But will Singaporeans ever learn the lesson taught by this tragedy? Unfortunately, today’s tragedy may not be the last of its kind here. In the next few years, there may be a repeat of what happened today, just as what happened today bears similarity to other incidents which have taken place here in the past.

Society also has to take responsibility when tragedies like this happen. In Singapore, face-saving is so important that when people face financial problems, they rather take their own lives than live with the shame the money problems bring them. It takes courage to be able to live through financial problems. It takes courage to accept bankruptcy in a conservative society such as ours. In the heat of the moment, it may seem easier to seek a way out through death. But, must we play God with our children?

School starts today for more than 500,000 children across the island this new year. As these children stream back to their schools and begin looking around in their new classrooms, some of them may notice a classmate or schoolmate missing. And they may realise that the tsunami which took place far from our shores over the holidays has something to do with that student’s absence from school. 

Yes, our children return to school nowadays to face situations which we did not face in our time as schoolchildren. The year before last year, it was Sars. Children suddenly found their term holidays extended and home quarantine orders slapped on holidaymakers returning from Sars-affected countries.

I used to be red with envy when I saw students whip out their mobile phones in the classrooms and corridors of schools. Simply by flicking their fingers on the phone pad, they could instantly message classmates, schoolmates and friends, be these chaps in the same school as theirs or any other school in Singapore. The entire island’s schools had become a very personal communication network for the students.
These students could share news and gossip about their teachers and friends in real time, though they were in their own classrooms and far away from one another. They could even snap pictures or video-record scenes and send these instantly – remember the teacher-scolding-student incident in a JC?

And when you were teaching them, you suddenly realise that it was possible that their minds might be far away, for they could be looking blankly at you while their fingers were doing the communication work for them – sms-ing their friends on their mobile phones which were hidden from your view. 

Yes, indeed, I thought these students were a privileged lot – to be born in this time and blessed with the tools that today’s technology had made available to them. But, now, I do not envy them.

It’s true that in my time – in the 1970′s – we had no gadgets to indulge ourselves in. Why, we didn’t even have electronic calculators in class. They didn’t exist then. At secondary school, we were using logbooks which we had to flip through for sine and cosine calculations.  

It’s true that television for us was black and white till 1973 when colour was introduced in Singapore. I remember I was in secondary three at Victoria School that year. It was a year I could not forget, for that same time, my family had our first telephone in our flat in Toa Payoh. Wow! I thought, what a thrill it was, being able to call my schoolmates on the telephone and talk to them in the comfort of my home.

It’s true that looking back, I realise that these were simple thrills indeed, pale in comparison with what’s available to the young of today. But, while it’s true these gadgets have made living a luxury of a lifestyle for students of today, it’s also true that the ills of today – Sars, birdflu, Tsunami and their lot – were practically unheard of in my time as a student.

The young of today are saddled with these problems and so they learn to grow up faster than we did in our time as students. It’s not precocity, mind you. It’s just that they have found themselves in an environment which is not as conducive as that which we had when we were as young as they are now. 

Whether it’s Sars, birdflu, tsunami or whatever nature may throw in their paths in future, our young will have to face up to these afflictions for it’s a world they have inherited by virtue of their being born in this day and time. Pluses and minuses considered, I think these chaps do not have as good a time as we had as students decades ago.  

So, should we still envy our children?

The ‘N’ Levels are almost over, save for subjects such as Accounts. The end-of-year exams for secondary schools are also coming to an end early this week.
 
So with secondary schools closing within this month for the end-year holidays, there are many youngsters pouring out into the streets and shopping malls beginning this week and lasting till the end of the year.
 
School breaks are a welcome change. But such breaks bring with them problems. Teenagers need more pocket money than they would during school days. That means two things – either the parents dish out the extra cash or the teenagers find part-time work.
 
Some teens will be out scouting for part-time jobs early this week. Others will unwind on the beaches and in the chalets. As these teens go about their holiday routine, what exactly is going on in their minds?
 
Of those who find part-time work, some do so to supplement the household income – it’s still difficult times for some families despite the recovering economy. Some work to fund their holiday activities. Others want the money for a new mobile phone.
 
Those who need not work have it easy. Many of them have parents who can afford to give them ample pocket money each month. But not all teenagers who do not work are lucky with pocket money. Some come from poor families whose parents would rather they stay at home than go out to work. Their parents will not hesitate to work extra hours to bring home more cash during the holiday season so that their children need not work part-time. Perhaps, it’s because these teenagers, especially the boys, are precious to these parents.
 
It appears that’s the way the Singaporean family has turned out. Save for some families in which teenagers work to support themselves or their families, the majority of Singaporean families have this thinking that it is the parents’ duty to take care of their children since they had made the decision to let them be born into the world in the first place. And the parents should provide everything the teenagers need till eternity.
 
It is a far cry from the 70s and earlier periods in which teenagers, especially the eldest child in the family, took their duty in stride and bowed out of school to help their parents support the family. These youngsters sacrificed their education, and their future, so that their younger siblings could continue having an education while they helped their family make ends meet.
 
But, that’s the 70s, you may say. It’s over and gone, you may think. Times are so much better today, you may argue. But, let’s not kid ourselves. Already, many young people, especially those in their 20s, continue having the mindset that they work to support themselves – not their parents or siblings. These young chaps also go about their work at the office lackadaisically.
 
That’s the danger Singaporean families are heading into. Over-indulged children growing into self-centred adults is the fault of over-protective parents. The irony is that these parents went this route simply because they didn’t want their children to suffer the way they did when they were young – in the 70s and earlier.
 
A likely scenario will be that parents of today will need depend on their retirement nest-egg to support themselves, for their children may not support them in their twilight years. A likely danger may be that these parents may even have to use their retirement nest-egg to continue indulging their already-adult children.
 
Children of today, I say to you this – let’s hope it doesn’t turn out thus. Make a change in yourselves, for the sake of your children and their children.